Hello friends-

I am writing to tell you all about an incident that happened tonight (Sunday) at the Wal-Mart here in New Iberia. This is not a chain letter or urban legend as it really happened to me just a little while ago. Like an idiot, I went to Wal-Mart at 7:30 at night.

While I was in the candy aisle, getting Valentine candy for my Godchildren, a white guy started talking to me. He was looking at candy just like I was so I didn't notice him at first. Anyway, he began to ask me questions about my shoes, were they comfortable, did they give me blisters, how did I keep them on my feet, etc. Just chatting (I was wearing my "nun shoes"; Brown leather slip on shoes). They are very comfortable but not very, trust me.

Well he was already kneeling down to look at candy and as he was talking to me, he reached over and touched my shoe and then moved his hand around to the back of my shoe and brushed my skin. Lightbulb moment-this is not normal. I don't let strangers touch my feet unless I am paying them for a pedicure. I moved away quickly and as I was moving, he asked if I would help him pick some out like mine for his sister. Another lightbulb. I told him no and got away as quickly as I could. During my shopping trip, I asked an employee to have someone walk me out. (The guy came walking up behind us as we talked and he turned off quickly when he saw me talking to an employee.

2003-05-29-10:50 a.m.
Thursday, May 29

Thursday's Laser Disc
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991) 5/10
Yes, this film is mindless and pretty bad, really. But there's a reason my brother owns the thing on laser disc. It's a secret every serious film buff already knows.

If you are a big fan of The Seventh Seal, you might want to go ahead and give the dvd a look. It's obvious from the poster that Bill And Ted play games with Death (who has a Swedish accent, no less). But that's not the secret. Take a look at your collection of Michael Powell/Emeric Pressburger films and look for Stairway to Heaven (1946) starring David Niven. Look for the scenes where the soldiers enter heaven and are checked in by extremely efficient WACS. (Or are they RACS?) Then compare that with Bill and Ted's heaven scene, and you'll notice a direct and obvious quote. It's the kind of thing that makes a film freak's month.

Even though Keanu Reeves is the embodiment of He Who is the Author of All Lies.

2003-05-28-9:10 a.m.
Wednesday, May 28

Tuesday's Laser Disc
Frederico Fellini's 8 1/2 9.5/10
As I sit here, the number one movie at the box office is Bruce Almighty. Here I am, asking all three of you who read my page to watch a film that requires homework to appreciate. And at least one and a half of you have already done so.

I have not yet watched the film with commentary, as I viewed it on an old, decrepit laser disc.

There's something about watching a film on a laser disc, though, that really says, "I am about to do some serious film viewing." And that I did. This is not the only film Fellini made where circus music is prominently featured. Aha, I think, here is the first symbolism: life is a circus. I wonder: is Fellini the first to whistle circus music when all is chaotic? I remember the first time I heard someone do that was in high school. It was one of my first introductions to high irony. Was that Felliniesque?

I can't help but place prominence on the music of a film. Lately I have been criticizing films that use music as a manipulation, mostly to make us cry or feel moved because the story itself is not strong enough. Here is an instance where the music must be heard, must be noticed. Guido is flashing back; reminiscing about his woman-filled childhood. We must flash back too, and since a film cannot give us smell, the next best thing is music. It opens like a child's night at the symphony. The music is Night at the Pops-recognizeable Marriage of Figaro, with characters parading by like Peter and the Wolf or Carnival of the Animals. Indeed, many characters have their own theme songs, like a particularly dramatic philosophy major who is The Sugar-Plum Fairy. I can't help but remeber a scene in Amadeus where Mozart is trying to sell his opera, The Marriage of Figaro, by explaining how each character is introduced by a theme: "solo becomes duet, duet becomes trio, trio becomes quartet..." and so on until it becomes a full-fledged chorus. But Guido's life is not ordered enough for a chorus. It's a three-ring circus, with writers, producers, publicists, wives and mistresses. He clearly wishes they could become an ordered chorus, as illustrated in a fantasy sequence (with Guido as Ring-Master, complete with whip), but ultimately, people, or his people, cannot be tamed, cannot sing in harmony.

All this before I've heard the commentary track or read a single review. I will have to come back to this when I have seen the DVD!

2003-05-27-12:41 p.m.
Tuesday, May 27

In the News
Fans of Bruce Almighty are Dumber Than Bags of Hammers

Woman Gets Phone Calls for God
May 27, 6:55 AM EST

Dawn Jenkins isn't in the new Jim Carrey comedy "Bruce Almighty," but her phone number is — and that's become a problem.

In the film, Carrey stars as a mortal who receives the powers of God. The character of God tries to reach Carrey's character by repeatedly leaving a phone number on his pager.

But instead of the usual 555 prefix used by most television shows and films, God's number is a common exchange — one too common for Jenkins' liking. It's her cell phone number.

She's been getting about 20 calls per hour, with callers asking for God before hanging up.

"What am I to do?" Jenkins wrote on an Internet forum. Reached by telephone by the St. Petersburg Times, Jenkins declined further comment, saying only she wants to hire an attorney. Officials from Universal Studios did not return telephone calls from the newspaper Monday.

Jenkins isn't alone in her plight. The number on Carrey's character's pager matches the number of a South Carolina woman who declined to give her name, but said she's been "getting aggravated to death" by the incessant calling.

It also matches the number for a call center to a group of five Colorado talk-radio stations. Ron Nickel, senior vice president for the Radio Colorado Network, was worried about what would happen Tuesday, the first regular office workday since the movie's release.

"My receptionist is going to go crazy," Nickel said.

2003-05-26-8:12 a.m.
Monday, May 26

Sunday's ... "movie."
Bruce Almighty (2003)
1/10
As I rushed up the aisle to exit the theatre last night, I heard a young teenaged boy utter the words, "That was really gay."

Young man, I salute you.

While I hate the use of the word "gay" as a derogatory, I can't help feeling I heard the definative review of this film. I am tempted to leave it at that.

But you know me. I can't do that.

Bruce is a christian with a pretty great life. He is a field reporter doing human interest stories for a local newscast, Not bad. But when he is overlooked for promotion to desk anchor, that, paired with the peeing habits of his otherwise perfectly trained dog, cause him to rail against God. At this point, we are supposed to think he must be a sad, angry atheist. An atheist who begins his conversations to himself with "Lord..."

The main messages of the movie seem to be as follows:

1. Don't be mad at God. He has a really hard job.
2. Pray every day.
3. Only pray for others.
4. don't ask God to help you with your problems. Work them out yourself.
5. Ask god to make all your decisions for you.
6. God spends most of His time cleaning up His messes. In fact, God is no more than a glorified janitor.

2003-05-25-12:04 p.m.
Sunday, May 25

Sunday's DVD

First of all, I have officially ended my movie project, a la François. He is now on his own, as far as choosing movies to watch, and he is performing admirably. To see his list, you can go to The Graveyard of the Gods Official Movie Thread. I think he has a personal movie page, and I'll post it when I find it.

So now, I show movies to my Mom, or watch movies purchased by my brother. It will, unfortunately, be less frequent than before. So:

Amelie, or Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain.
Lovers of the taste, feel, smell, sounds and beauty of life (and film) will love this movie. The opening of the film shows who it's for, as it illustrates what Amelie likes: skipping stones, cracking creme brulee, and looking back at people's faces in a darkened theatre. Her parents liked to clean out and organize things. Her acquaintances like cracking knuckles, eating the oyster out of roast chicken, and the sound of a cat's creme dish on a tiled floor.

I like the sound of computer keys clacking and the way my fingers look as I type. I like the way onions look when they turn glossy in a pan. I like how my freshly shaved legs feel when they slip between cool cotton sheets. I like how books look when you turn the first page. I like how those pages smell, especially when it's a new book. I like to use rubbing alcohol as an astringent on my face, because I like to cover my nose in the cloth and breathe in, until it almost hurts. I like to wash my hair outdoors, as long as I have a little privacy. I like how it feels to lie naked with François, because his skin is smooth. (but mostly in winter and early spring.) I don't like being hot and sweaty.

I give this movie a 9.6 out of 10.

Site of the Day
Why Homeopathy is Quackery

Quackwatch

Homeopathy's "Law of Infinitesimals"

An article by Stephen Barrett, M.D.

Homeopathic products are formulated by taking a sample of a substance and repeatedly diluting it with water, water/alcohol, or milk sugar. The products are derived from minerals, plants, zoological substances, microorganisms, and several other sources. If the allegedly medicinal substance is soluble, 1 part is diluted in either 9 or 99 parts of distilled water and/or alcohol and "succussed" (shaken) vigorously; if insoluble, it is finely ground and "triturated" (pulverized) in similar proportions with powdered lactose (milk sugar). One part of the diluted medicine is diluted, and the process is repeated to reach the desired concentration, after which it may be bottled or used to impregnate sugar granules.

Dilutions of 1 to 10 are designated by the Roman numeral X (1X = 1/10, 2X = 1/100, 3X = 1/1,000, 6X = 1/1,000,000). Similarly, dilutions of 1 to 100 are designated by the Roman numeral C (1C = 1/100, 2C = 1/10,000, 3C = 1/1,000,000, and so on). Most remedies today range from 6X to 30C, but some carry designations as high as 200C.

Advocates claim that the lower the concentration of a substance, the more potent it becomes. This concept, often referred to as the "Law of Infinitestimals," is the equivalent of saying that the less sugar you put into a cup of coffee, the sweeter it will become. This is just the opposite of the dose-response relationship that pharmacologists have demonstrated.

The laws of chemistry state that there is a limit to the dilution that can be made without losing the original substance altogether. This limit, which is related to Avogadro's number (6.023 x 1023), corresponds to homeopathic potencies of 12C or 24X (1 part in 1024). Modern proponents claim that even when the last molecule is gone, a "memory" of the original substance is retained. A 30X dilution means that the original substance has been diluted 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times. Assuming that a cubic centimeter contains 15 drops, this number is greater than the number of drops of water that would fill a container more than 50 times the size of the earth and a 30C solution would require a container more than 30 billion times the size of the Earth.

For practical purposes, this means that "30X" and "30C" solutions do not actually exist, because it is not possible to create a solution in which one molecule of an original substance is dissolved in a container of water bigger than the Earth.

Oscillococcinum, a 200C product "for the relief of colds and flu-like symptoms," involves "dilutions" that are even more far-fetched. Its "active ingredient" is prepared by incubating small amounts of a freshly killed duck's liver and heart for 40 days. The resultant solution is then filtered, freeze-dried, rehydrated, repeatedly diluted, and impregnated into sugar granules. If a single molecule of the duck's heart or liver were to survive the dilution, its concentration would be 1 in 100200 This huge number, which has 400 zeroes, is vastly greater than the estimated number of molecules in the universe (about one googol, which is a 1 followed by 100 zeroes).

Homeopathy's founder (Samuel Hahnemann, M.D.) himself realized there was virtually no chance that an original molecule would remain after extreme dilutions. But he declared that vigorous shaking ("succussion") or pulverizing between dilutions would leave behind a spirit-like essence that cures by reviving the body's "vital force."

Modern chemistry, which has developed understanding of the molecular nature of matter, and of the size of molecules, has found no "spirit-like" essence that could be left behind following dilutions past Avogadro's number.

Modern proponents postulate that the solution retains a "memory" of the substance. If this were true, every substance encountered by a molecule of water, alcohol, or milk sugar might imprint an "essence" that could exert powerful and unpredictable medicinal effects. Moreover, water is never 100% pure, and impurities can enter the solution from the container or surrounding air. So if a few molecules could determine how a remedy acts, there is no reason to assume that the original substance will prevail over the impurities encountered along the way.

Many proponents allege that homeopathic products resemble vaccines because both provide a small stimulus that triggers an immune response. This comparison is not valid. The amounts of active ingredients in vaccines are much greater and are measurable. Immunizations produce measurable antibodies, but highly dilute homeopathic products have no measurable active ingredients and produce no measurable response. In addition, vaccines are used preventively, not for curing symptoms.