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2003-11-12-2:33 a.m.
Tuesday, 12 Novembre
What do you do when someone you know is coming into religious belief, and wants to share it with you all the time? What if that person is destined to spend a lot of future time with you?
I think this person is having depression, first of all, for many reasons. She's ill, her mother is ill, and she is trying hard to come out of a depression since her husband died several years ago. I was thinking about this just now. I have a hard time with wanting to please people all the time, and being very bad at comforting people. All I know how to do is talk about myself.
I speak of this problem because I get frightened of sharing my very strong views in person with people. I try to accommodate people so much that I think I actually lie sometimes.
I've actually found that I have helped people before, sharing my feelings about the richness of meaning and spirituality to be found and explored without an atom's worth of supernatural belief. I sometimes like to go through lists. I think I am a positive person who believes in celebrating life. That's what life means for me. There is so much to look at, try, taste, experience and remember, what is the use of this fear of the unknown? I have had so much fun in my life that I sometimes stop whatever I'm doing, kind of sniff the air and say to myself, "Something really important is going to happen," or "I'm due for something really exciting to happen." I don't think I am a psychic. I think I am a fulfuller of prophesy. If I find that life is getting too static, I feel that the world is about to give me something new to explore, learn, experience.
That's the big stuff. But that's not nearly as important as the little stuff that gets you through every single day.
That's where I can be help ful sometimes. I am such a loudmouth about os many things. I like to talk about the world in such tiny terms. I talk about smells, sensations, sights and sounds. Right down to the tip of my nose. I like to talk about what makes me happy. I like to talk about food!
so, well, I don't talk to her every day, but I wonder sometimes if I already am helping her. The religious thing isn't my fault. She always was a believer. I guess I will just keep on being a loudmouth. If she's destined to become a Hellbound Alleee fan, perhaps I can help her.
That way, I don't have to hear about her feelings about god.
Snicker.
2003-11-10-12:45 a.m.
Sunday, 10 Novembre
The Highbrow Tastes of My People, Mostly, The Americans
Or, How to Decorate this Yuletide.
Do you find that you are showing too little Christmas Spirit for your Lord and Savior on His Birthday? Afraid of making Him Cry? Want to Esure your Place in a really good neighborhood in heaven? We suggest you decorate with Yule Doo!

Yes, Yule Doo is just the thing to get that holiday party started!
To ensure your home has that "Santa ate too many almond spritz cookies" look, make sure you receive the Harriet Carter Catalog! One can never have too many beer hats, drinking-themed welcome-mats, and these lovely items:
“Be Naughty” Pillow suggests with a wink and a nod that you may not have been nice enough for the guy in the red suit! Place this pillow on a sofa or easy chair and let them all wonder just how much fun you’ve had.
“Melting” Snowman is even cuter than the real thing! This little fellow is still smiling, with his colorful hat, scarf and mittens intact (even though the rest of him is quickly disappearing!). His sign says, “Think Snow”, and with spring around the corner, he’ll be a humorous sight on your lawn. Makes an adorable accent piece on a dinner table, too.
Did Santa just go “splat”? Not really, but it sure looks like Santa missed the roof and crashed into your front door! Just wait ’til your Christmas visitors see Santa flattened, sleigh wrecked, but, thank goodness, toys still in place! This time, the ho-ho-ho’s on Santa! Brightly colored nylon with plastic hanging ring.
will make your pooch the hit of the holiday season. There'll be delighted squeals from your family as doggie runs around as cute as can be in this Santa-inspired jacket with its own belt, and hat over one ear! Measure length from dog's neck to tail.
Yes, Harriet Carter will give you pretty much everything you need to add another brick of gold to your garage floor in heaven. That is, until you receive your Lillian Vernon Catalog in the mail. Hide it from the kiddies!
The greatest thing about being an american is the ability to be a christian while still demeaning your holy figures. Case in point: Alternative Nativity Scenes:







and finally...

I really wanted to find a snake or reptile nativity, and if anyone does, let me know!
2003-11-08-12:37 a.m.
Friday, Novembre 8
Belle De Jour (1967)
Luis Bunuel
Belle de Jour(beauty of day, not unlike "soup of the day") is an oh-so-scandalous dime pulp novel sold on a rack near the Police Gazette. You know, a book not unlike those lesbian books from the fifties and sixties where the lesbian gets killed as a moralization at the end.
I can see that this movie had no such moralization, except for in Severine's recurring dream sequences. They're only there because she's trapped in moral convention, you see, not unlike her marriage.
I have to step back a bit. On the pulp novel level, the story is this: Severine is a masochistic woman trapped in a chaste marriage. Her husband is "too" accomindating with her, and allows the marriage to go on this way, as it seems his status is most important in his life. Severine finds her way to a brothel where the madame discovers almost immediately that all she needs is "a firm hand." The wise Johns are also more receptive than her husband. In her new work she meets the dangerous (yet bumbling) young Marcel, with whom she finds fulfillment of her desires. Unfortunately, Marcel falls in love. This leads to a car-chase ending wherein Pierre, her husband, shows the passion and manliness she craved, above his status as a doctor, all along.
Throw in some spy-holes, monotone acting, close-ups of bodyparts, religious imagery and dream sequences, and you've got a great film classic.
I don't have much argument there. It's a classic, sure. A masterpiece with lots of Catherine Deneuve. Man, she has some Barbarella hair, doesn't she?
But what am I here for, if not to deconstruct...a little? I get the feeling, from this film, that Bunuel's raison d'etre is the emptiness of middle-class life. This is a classic theme of many french films, as well as too many others to count. Severine is so immersed in convention, she is willing to sell her body to feel...something. The pursuit of money, and status, be it popular fame or righteousness, causes our societies to be dead inside.
Or so they say.
This idea is the reason behind most moral finger-pointing and tut-tutting in the arts, media, religious society and so on. You need to suffer, they say, in order to have a fulfilling life. Society, they say, is seeking all of its fulfillment with things. The religious say this too, only they add sex, they should be suffering more and giving money to our church. Everyone's seeking fulfillment, they say, but they are obviously doing it wrong. Look at the other, they say, they are obviously empty inside.
Well, I beg your pardon.
Bunuel says he loaths moralizing in his films. I wonder. Is it not a judgement on, say, what he sees as convention? Telling a story of the blandness and emotionlessness of this upper-middle-class, or shall I say, bourgeois couple?
As a person having the attribute of atheist, I am accused of having this empty existence. Atheists must be sad, and angry, it has been said, because they have no god. Ignoring the obvious non-sequitor, my philosophy about this is that we all make our own meaning in our lives. We must, as individuals, seek fulfillment-something in our own best personal interest.
This is not what Severine was doing. (Not that all characters in movies have to always behave the way I want them to. Fiction is fiction.) Her ultimate fulfillment required the actions and feelings of another. What she wanted was something standard of the pulp novels of the day: to feel like a "woman tm" -loved and protected and cherished-sexually. This is pretty much the same as she was in the beginning, only with sex. Before she was a chaste childbride. Now she is a sexy wife. Whoo hoo!
Now, as Bunuel, we are to look at this tableau of their fulfillment and, well, smirk. Look at them. All the little piggies in their starched-white shirts.
I guess I judge princess severina just like he does. She's not doing it right in my book, either. Her life is still empty, I guess, because she isn't an individualist?
Thus ends my deconstruction, I suppose, lest I deconstruct myself!
In the News
Ah, yes. Did I mention that the date is set for the 15th of November? I suppose I did. Anyway, I'm going tomorrow with my future mother-in-law to be outfitted for a wedding outfit. Which she will pay for.
Did I mention she's a size -2, and I'm like a 26?
I don't know sizing here in Canada.
Hope I can get to sleep tonight!
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Alison Randall lives in Montreal, Quebec with her lovely husband, Francois Tremblay. Together, they enjoy their online atheist audio station, their weekly program, The Hellbound Alleee Show, cuisine, working on their various websites, and movies.

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